When you’re going through a divorce, there is a lot to think about. When children are involved, they can be one of the biggest sources of both comfort and worry during this major life change. Whether you get along with your spouse or not, it can be very tricky to figure out the best living arrangements for your kids while ensuring that your needs are met, too. It’s all about determining the least amount of disruption to everyone involved – especially the kids – and figuring out how to make parenting after divorce work for everyone involved. Sometimes, the nesting co-parenting arrangement can be the answer.
New Age Parenting: Nesting
Putting aside your differences – even a little – during your divorce can help you make good choices about how you and your spouse can parent together. It is not only important, but it will make the entire process of figuring out who is going to live where move along more smoothly. One way to continue a healthy and happy relationship between both parents and the child is an arrangement called bird’s nesting, which is discussed in an article by Psychology Today. This arrangement is not for everyone, but it can work under the right circumstances.
Bird’s nesting, or simply “nesting”, refers to a plan where the marital home becomes the place where the child lives permanently while the parents rotate in and out of it. One or both parents may choose to own a second home or apartment where the parent who is not in the nesting home will stay when, basically, it’s not their turn to be on site. Or, one of the parents may live in the home and leave on a schedule to another location while the second parent takes their turn in the home. This way, the children are always in the home while experiencing the presence of both parents.
As you can imagine, a number of very important details have to be in place for this type of arrangement to work. The parents need to be able to afford to maintain the homes involved. They must recognize that they will likely be running into one another regularly and that a clear set of rules, responsibilities, and obligations have to be in place for everyone involved. And, peaceful, if not downright amicable, communication will be an absolute must.
The Ups and Downs of Nesting Arrangements
Certainly, the major benefit of this type of nesting arrangement is that the child faces the least possible amount of disruption in the divorce. Click here to read more about the signs of stress in children of divorce.
In a nesting arrangement, gone are many of the causes of anxiety that deeply affect children, like moving to a new home, changing schools, saying goodbye to old friends, or finding a new soccer team or dance studio. It can all stay the same. For the parents, this means happier children who will deal with less change in their lives. And, all of the child’s belongings are always in one place. Just like home used to be before the divorce.
Parents, however, must be able to handle some amount of communication, interaction, and even disagreement since they will continue to parent together rather closely. Not everyone can financially afford this type of arrangement. And, when new romantic interests enter the picture for one or both parents, things could get awkward.
Working with Your Lawyer
Coming up with a nesting arrangement or other plan for parenting after divorce can take time and energy. It also requires conscious awareness that how you feel about the divorce and your spouse is going to impact everything that has to do with your children. This is when it helps to have a skilled lawyer on your side.
Your lawyer’s role is not to force you into any form of parenting plan, schedule, or arrangement. On the contrary, our role is to hear you, to understand what is important to you, and to help you reach your goals without compromising those principles. Every time. We will work with you, and for you, to ensure that the parenting plan you end up with is one that makes you the most comfortable under the circumstances.
Additional Resources.
Michigan Child Custody, Child Support and Parenting Time (Visitation) video
About Findling Law
I have been exclusively practicing divorce and family law in Michigan since 19XX. The attorneys at Findling Law all share the core value of practicing law to help people navigate change in their lives, without compromising principles. We specialize in high socio-economic, high-profile and high-conflict cases, while also working with clients of all backgrounds. We recognize that the most important aspect of the practice of law is the application of the law to your specific circumstances.
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